Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy GarlandNumerous scientific studies have shown that being kind results in significant physical, mental and emotional health benefits:
-It maintains good health and diminishes the effect of disease.
-Endorphins or natural pain-killers are released as well as a physical sensation of euphoria, which leads to improved emotional well-being.
-Stress related problems including depression tend to improve after performing kind acts.
-Self-esteem is enhanced as well as feelings of optimism and happiness.
-The immune system is strengthened and physical pain decreases.
Have you ever been petrified to start a new fitness program, for fear of failure once again? Can you even count the number of times that you vowed that THIS is the time you will lose weight and THIS is the time that you will keep it off for good? How often have you promised yourself that you will get fit and stay that way? Does the fear well up in your throat when you think about what it takes to change, or do you feel a surge of excitement for the possibilities of what may lie ahead?
For a large majority of the clients that I meet, we begin our consultation sessions with them exposing their fears of committing to a program, that quite frankly, they are not sure will help them. They’ve tried every diet out there, every fitness idea from the Thigh Master to Hot Yoga. The program works for a while, but in the end, the diet of rice cakes and cabbage soup, and the 4:30am hill sprints are not sustainable for them, and they end up giving up. But then the worst of it happens....they berate themselves for their failures. “I’m an idiot, I knew I couldn’t do it”, “I’m a loser, a failure, I suck”, “My mother was right, I’ll never amount to anything”, “I don’t deserve to be happy”...and so on.
The things that we say to ourselves about ourselves, have a huge impact on how we see life, and how we choose to live in the world and in relationships. If we tell ourselves that we are losers, then consciously or subconsciously we will sabotage any attempts to succeed in life.
A great litmus test is to be still and listen to what you say to yourself in your head, when you screw up. What do you hear? “Loser”, “Idiot”, “Fat”, “I’m nothing”.....and the list goes on. Or.....(and yes, there is another option!), are you KIND to yourself in your head? Do you have empathy for yourself, just like you would for a good friend who messed up? Perhaps a kinder approach to self would sound something like this instead: “Tracy, I know why you ate that whole chocolate cake today, you were anxious about confronting your husband about last night’s argument. You feared that if you stand up for yourself, that he might get angry and leave you. You don’t like those feelings of anxiety, they feel awful, but cake takes that away for a few moments.” I understand why that little part of me is there, she’s always there...looking out for other people’s feelings, making sure that she doesn’t rock the boat so her world feels safe. But what if this time, you believed that you would be okay, even if someone is angry at you, even if you were left alone? What if you could just be beside those feelings of anxiety without having to make them go away? Having compassion for self and being kind in your inner thoughts is key to navigating your way through this weight loss journey for the 8th, 9th or 50th time! Start by just saying kind things to yourself about yourself, even if you don’t believe them yet! Keep saying them, I know that your world will give you plenty of opportunities to practice this! You might say things like, “Everyone is allowed to make mistakes, I don’t have to be perfect, I deserve to be happy, I am worthwhile!” Get into the habit of treating yourself with kindness instead of berating yourself, and let the fitness journey happen one day at a time
Tracy Steen
Personal Fitness Trainer
BCRPA Certified
MA Counselling Psychology
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